


andante, andante (oh please, don't let me down)

by dj jiggle juice (therestisconfetti)



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 03:20:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15548469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisconfetti/pseuds/dj%20jiggle%20juice
Summary: She thinks she’s known for years now - somewhere deep down - that there’s only one person she’ll ever want to share moments like this with.She’s been there all along: handing her a flyer at the Activities Fair that fateful day of Beca’s freshman year, barging into her shower, texting her to come back, never belittling her, becoming her biggest supporter and greatest friend.Beca knows Chloe is it for her. She always has been.





	andante, andante (oh please, don't let me down)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a birthday present for my pal [Theresa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iPhone/pseuds/iPhone). Happy birthday to the most wonderful writer and friend, I hope you have a good one.
> 
> Also, this is angsty, so be warned. Theresa's called my angst kin for a reason, you know.
> 
> (And yes, the title is another song from the Mamma Mia soundtrack. I'm still on that kick, okay?)

Beca is near breathless as she wanders around backstage, trying to track down Chloe.

There are things that need to be done like contracts and interviews and reminding Theo that she’s his _boss_ now, but that can all wait.

It can wait because they’re somewhere in the south of France with the night sky shining brilliantly above them with countless stars and there’s only one person Beca wants to share this moment with. She thinks she’s known for years now - somewhere deep down - that there’s only one person she’ll ever want to share moments like this with.

She’s been there all along: handing her a flyer at the Activities Fair that fateful day of Beca’s freshman year, barging into her shower, texting her to come back, never belittling her, becoming her biggest supporter and greatest friend.

Beca knows Chloe is it for her. She always has been.

So she can’t help the smile that finds her lips when she spots Chloe in the corridor, beginning to follow Aubrey and Emily out.

Her smile forms into her familiar smirk, a newfound confidence in her - whether it be from the performance or the way she knows deep inside of her that she can’t wait any longer, that she can’t deny herself the way Chloe looks at her, the way she’s _always_ looked at Beca - as she calls out her name.

“Chloe!”

Chloe stops and turns, her eyes lighting up and smile widening she recognizes her best friend. “Beca,” she responds easily, naturally. “Hey there, superstar.”

Beca laughs, quickly approaching Chloe. She takes long strides in her boots to close the gap. Chloe is looking at her fondly, in a way Beca notices has been happening a lot lately.

“You’re such a nerd,” Beca murmurs.

Chloe’s letting out a soft chuckle when Beca’s hands reach out and grab Chloe by the lapels of her leather jacket, tugging her into Beca. Chloe barely has time to understand what’s happening before Beca is pressing a sweet kiss against her lips, gripping tightly to Chloe’s jacket, afraid she might lose Chloe if she lets go.

It takes a moment, but Chloe is kissing her back firmly. She’s trying to convey all the passion she has into the kiss and Beca thinks her knees might give soon if Chloe keeps going - not that she cares about that in this particular moment, though. Chloe’s hands find purchase on Beca’s waist comfortably as Chloe all but sighs into the kiss.

Beca pulls away slowly, taking a moment to open her eyes because there’s a part of her that’s still afraid, part of her that thinks she may be getting it wrong.

When she opens her eyes, Chloe’s brilliantly blue eyes are looking at her in wonder and awe. They’re soft, regarding Beca with such an endearing look that Beca thinks her heart might burst from how full it is.

“Becs.”

She says is quietly, hardly above a whisper. It’s almost like Chloe’s holding her breath to see if it’s real, if this isn’t just some figment of her imagination.

The thought of that makes Beca’s stomach flip delightfully.

“Hi,” Beca answers somewhat shyly, a small smile on her face.

Chloe bites her lip in an impossibly adorable way, resting her forehead against Beca’s. Beca’s grip has loosened, but her hands still grasp onto Chloe’s jacket, keeping her close.

“That was okay, right?” Beca asks, still sort of breathless from the way Chloe’s lips felt against her own.

The sound of Chloe’s breathy laughter makes Beca shiver excitedly, a small grin beginning to appear on her lips. She shifts impossibly closer to Beca as she answers, “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that.”

It makes Beca full out grin now, noticing the way Chloe’s eyes are lit up as she looks at her. She feels like things are finally falling into place, like they’ve been dancing around this for so long that Beca can’t keep track of how close they’ve gotten to this over the years.

But it doesn’t matter because they’re here now.

Chloe leans forward and kisses her again, this time pushing Beca back against the wall of the corridor are she gets herself acquainted with Beca’s lips, with the feel of her skin and the tangles in her hair.

She’s been waiting for this. She’ll let herself have it.

“I love you,” Chloe whispers against her lips after what seems like hours of kissing.

Beca all but melts, thankful for the wall and Chloe’s grip for keeping her steady.

“I love you so much,” she responds, pulling Chloe back in.

 

* * *

 

When Beca finds out she’s moving to Los Angeles to kick start her career as a solo artist with DJ Khaled and his team, Chloe doesn’t hesitate to accept her enrollment into UC Davis’ veterinary program.

Sure, she had also been accepted to a couple of schools on the Northeast, including one that’s not a terrible drive away from their little Brooklyn apartment, but being on a completely opposite coast of Beca sounds agonizing.

They’ve been taking in every moment of it all - slow kisses in the morning, all the touching and quiet smiles and shushed giggles. Amy teases them, but there’s no real bite there because she knows how long they’ve both wanted this, had watched in a painfully slow manner the way it all came together.

Chloe tries not to think about how their days of living together are numbered, tries not to think about how difficult the road ahead will be.

She loves Beca, it’s just that simple.

Chloe’s loved Beca for so long that she can’t quite remember a time she didn’t. There’s nothing Chloe wouldn’t do for her, and she’s proven that time and time again throughout the years, even if it was unclear at times whether Beca would ever see it.

Beca does now though; she lets Chloe know by trailing kisses down her neck and whispering nothing but love late at night, when Amy’s asleep and Beca hushing her to keep her voice down. Chloe figures loving Beca Mitchell and Beca loving her is the closest thing to heaven she can get.

Sometimes Chloe pinches herself, just to be sure. She’s dreamt of moments like these for so long she had almost given up hope, that Beca would never love her in that way. But here they are now, Beca murmuring “I love you” when she wakes up to Chloe every morning and1 Chloe is positive life couldn’t get better than this.

Once plans for California are set - Beca looks at apartments online (with the help of Chloe) for Theo to take her around to when she arrives and Chloe beginning the search for fellow vet school students to her new roommates - the two are slowly beginning to pack up their little Brooklyn home.

It’s not like they’ll actually be apart right away, of course. Chloe’s program doesn’t start until the fall so she’ll be staying with Beca in Los Angeles until orientation weekend.

(They’re both thrilled, unable to get enough of each other.)

“Never thought I’d be living in California,” Chloe muses as their plane begins to descend into Los Angeles.

“Never thought I’d be doing this solo artist this,” Beca says back, eyebrows raised in an amused manner. “I just wanted to make music.”

“And you are,” Chloe grins widely, slipping her hand into Beca’s and offering a light squeeze.

Beca rolls her eyes. “Not in the way I wanted to.”

Chloe laughs, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand gently as her thumb rubs soft circles against the back of Beca’s hand. The conversation doubles as a distraction for Beca, a way to take her mind off the plane landing and the way they’re approaching the ground quickly. Beca’s always had a fear of flights - just when they take off and when they land. Over the past seven years, Chloe’s found a way to soothe Beca each time, and every single time Beca is calm and relaxed as she focuses on Chloe and only Chloe.

“Never said there was one way to achieving your dreams,” Chloe hums, pressing a kiss to Beca’s temple. “Plus, you have too good of a voice to not do this.”

“Whatever.”

Chloe nudges her playfully. “And you told me you’t even sing. You’re a big liar, you know.”

Beca grins at her, the plane slowly coming to a stop at their gate. “You still love me.”

Chloe beams at her, the pilot’s landing announcement background noise as she focuses on Beca.

“Yeah, I really do.”

 

* * *

 

Everything is ten times slower when Chloe leaves for Davis.

It takes a little longer to get out of bed, a little longer to eat breakfast - everything.

Beca knows she has a studio session later in the afternoon, but all she can think about is Chloe, Chloe, and Chloe. She’s feeling an ache in her chest already from the realization that she won’t be waking up to the readhead’s arms loosely wrapped around her in the mornings, and how the cupboard full of various tea bags will hardly be used now that Chloe’s going away.

“You look sad,” Chloe tells her with a pout. “It’s making me sad.”

Beca sighs, reaching out for Chloe and pulling her in close. Her hands rest comfortably at Chloe’s hips, eyes flickering down to her girlfriend’s lips as she says, “I’m not ready for you to go.”

“I’m not either,” Chloe admits, arms wrapping around Beca’s neck. “But I have to.”

Beca holds in a whine and Chloe leans forward and presses a soft kiss to her forehead. Beca offers her a small smile at the motion.

“We’re going to be okay,” Chloe promises.

“I know,” Beca nods slowly. “It’s just...we haven’t really been apart since...Well, since before Barden.”

It’s getting really hard to think about life without Chloe - not that Beca minds, at all - but Chloe’s been there for all her biggest moments since Beca was 18 and well, having Chloe by her side all the time is making it that much more difficult to say goodbye.

Chloe hums softly. She leans forward again, nudging Beca’s nose with hers gently. When Beca slightly moves in the way Chloe’s looking for, the redhead leans in and gives her a soft and lingering kiss. Beca is pretty sure her knees still go weak when Chloe kisses her because how lucky is she to have someone like Chloe kiss her all the time

Chloe’s kisses somehow make the world melt away, like nothing else matters.

“I love you,” Beca breathes out the moment Chloe pulls away.

Chloe smiles at her, eyes bright and shining. “I love you too,” she responds, lifting her hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Beca’s ear.

“I’m flying you out whenever you want,” Beca mumbles, her grip on Chloe tightening. “Just tell me and Theo will book you a flight right away.”

Chloe laughs softly, her fingers playing with the baby hairs on the back of Beca’s neck. “It’s like you miss me already,” she teases softly, but her eyes tell Beca she has the same sentiments exactly.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the airport?”

Chloe shakes her head. “I don’t want you to be late for your studio session.”

Beca’s chest aches again, in the way she knows Chloe won’t be home when she gets off of work, but she knows it has to be this way. She wants to watch Chloe achieve her goals and succeed in ways they can only imagine.

If Chloe’s waited for her this long, Beca is sure they’ll withstand the distance.

 

* * *

 

Chloe likes to think she adapts well to situations. She’s very quick to make friends and find her groove; Davis is no different. She makes friends with her new roommates and makes a friend or two in each of her classes.

Except everything feels different.

Instead of nine girls trying to function under one roof, it’s three of them working on their own schedules and around each other instead of with each other.

Instead of sharing a bed with Beca and partly forgetting Fat Amy is also her roommate, it’s her own bedroom with a queen-sized bed and trouble sleeping at night.

Chloe aches for the Bellas and more importantly aches for Beca at her side, unable to quite find a steady rhythm without the brunette around.

She takes notes in class, does her readings, and goes out for dinner, but there’s a part of her missing and she knows without a doubt that it’s Beca.

It’s odd to think that this is a part of her adult life that Beca doesn’t quite understand. She’s not physically here with Chloe, and it’s weird not to have Beca to come home to and explain her day and her experiences.

Chloe’s barley walking through the door of her apartment when her phone rings, and she’s immediately swiping to answer when she glances at Beca’s name on the top of the screen.

“Hey superstar,” Chloe greets softly, tired from her day’s classes.

 _“Hi,”_ Beca answers, the smile evident in her voice. _“How was your day?”_

“Long and tiring,” Chloe admits with a sigh, making a beeline for her bedroom and dropping her bag on her desk. “There’s just so much I have to learn and be able to apply, you know? I’m just trying to keep up.”

Beca laughs softly. _“But I know you’re going to crush all your exams, Chloe. You’re working so hard.”_

Chloe smiles and her heart swells at the genuine belief and confidence in Beca’s voice. She has always been Chloe’s biggest supporter no matter what. She feels so lucky to have someone like Beca in her corner for so long.

“I just wish it didn’t make it hard for me to come see you,” Chloe says quietly, suddenly missing the way Beca’s face always lights up when she comes home at the end of the day.

She looks around her bedroom, how everything makes it clear that this space only belongs to one person, that there’s no one else to share it with - not with Beca a six hour drive away.

 _“Me too,”_ Beca admits, and Chloe imagines Beca thinking about the time where distance wasn’t even a thought between them. _“I want to find time to see you.”_

“But your music,” Chloe reminds her.

_“-is not as important as my girlfriend.”_

Chloe holds back a sigh this time. It’s a conversation that’s been coming up a lot recently. Beca’s already come up twice to see Chloe. Both of those times were not necessarily Theo-approved, and though it set back Beca’s music a little, she insisted it didn’t matter, not when she gets to wake up in Chloe’s arms for a weekend.

“Beca I’ll still be here after you finish all of it,” she says gently.

 _“I know,”_ Beca whines. _“But being away from you is so hard.”_

“I know the feeling,” Chloe frowns.

Beca sighs, and Chloe imagines that she’s running a hand through her slightly messy hair at the moment. She pictures Beca closing her eyes and trying not to get frustrated with the situation, knows they’re both going through the same thing.

Chloe often thinks about just ignoring her bank account and flying out to see Beca as a surprise.

But vet school is here, and it’s incredibly demanding. Chloe can’t let herself slip, not when she’s investing this much into the process.

 _“I have to get back to the booth,”_ Beca tells her, the disappointment dripping from her voice. _“I just wanted to call because I miss you, like a lot.”_

Chloe smiles, shaking her head at the way Beca is still somewhat shy when it comes to saying things like that. “I miss you a little more than a lot.”

Beca groans, and Chloe just _knows_ there’s a pout on her face. _“Chloe,”_ she says, stressing the end of Chloe’s name.

“Go,” Chloe says. “Go make music with your mouth. I know you’re good at that.”

 _“Your mouth is good at that too,”_ Beca answers, playful tone in her voice now.

Chloe smirks. “That’s not the only thing my mouth is good at and you know it.”

The pause on the other end of the line is a sure sign that Beca is furiously blushing at that moment, surprised by what Chloe just said. It makes Chloe grin like an idiot, but she also feels an ache in her chest again because she wishes she could see Beca right at this moment.

 _“Chloe Beale, you are something else,”_ Beca finally says with a chuckle. _“God, I’m so in love with you.”_

“Feeling’s mutual,” Chloe hums, eyeing the framed photo of her and Beca that sits on her desk.

 

* * *

 

Sunlight streams through the windows, casting light over Beca’s bed. It causes the brunette to slowly wake, inwardly groaning at the way she can feel the sun on her face - like it’s beckoning her to get up and start her day. When she shifts, her feels the arm that’s slung around her and the body pressed to her back; it makes her smile.

Chloe is _here_ in her bed in Los Angeles and not all the way in Davis and that is more than enough of a reason to make Beca happier about waking up. She wants to spend every waking moment with Chloe she can get, especially with how long it’s taken for Chloe to find enough time with her workload to fly down to see Beca.

The redhead makes a quiet noise, nuzzling into Beca. Her face presses into the skin of Beca’s neck without thought. It makes Beca shiver in delight, the way Chloe’s body fits against hers so perfectly. She can’t fight the smile on her face when Chloe slowly wakes, pressing soft kisses to Beca’s skin as a good morning.

“Good morning,” Beca says quietly, her voice a bit raspy from sleep.

Chloe presses a lingering kiss on Beca’s jaw before she’s slowly opening her eyes. “Morning,” she yawns back.

Beca knows they only have less than three days in total together, knows that every moment with Chloe counts. Even with Chloe here, part of Beca is missing her already, because she knows this isn’t permanent, that Chloe will be gone again soon and they’ll be dealing with phone calls and FaceTimes and busy schedules. She tries to push that to the back of her mind though, because Chloe is her and she’s enjoying this just as much as Beca is, just being _together._

Suddenly Beca can’t think of anything else she’d rather do than just simply _be with Chloe._

She shifts so she’s facing Chloe, smiling at her girlfriend who still has sleep in her features. “Can we just stay here all day?” Beca asks, brushing hair out of Chloe’s face. “I know we were going to go out and do stuff, but-”

Chloe cuts her off by leaning forward and placing a soft and sweet kiss to her lips. “I’ll do anything and nothing as long as it’s with you.”

Beca all but melts at the statement, eyes wide with adoration. She grins widely, loving the way Chloe practically shines when she looks at Beca. Her arm wraps around Chloe’s middle, pulling her so she’s practically on top of Beca, both of them laughing as they grow more awake by the moment.

“You’re such a sap,” Beca tells her with no real bite.

Chloe giggles. “You love it.”

Beca only smiles before Chloe is kissing her and they spend the better part of their morning making out, hands all over and clothes quickly discarded.

Every part of her aches without Chloe, but having her here - kissing her, touching her, hearing her whisper Beca’s name with such reverence - makes all the struggles seem like child’s play.

 

* * *

 

Chloe has every intention spending her break after her first year of vet school in Los Angeles with Beca. It’s not even a question, really. It gets brought up so casually and organically that Chloe doesn’t even think there’s another option. She knows with Beca she won’t have to worry about what she’ll do in between semesters, even if Beca’s getting busier by the day with two singles out and a few concerts beginning to pop up on her schedule.

(Beca is a bit frazzled by her slow rise to fame.

Chloe is endlessly excited, always ready to hear Beca’s stories about meeting famous execs and other artists.)

So when one of her veterinary school professors pulls her aside after class one day to talk about an internship with a clinic in Davis, Chloe is completely caught off guard.

“As in stay here after this semester?” Chloe asks, her brain still two steps behind.

Her professor nods, smiling widely. “Of course,” he says like it’s no question. “You’re very passionate and a hard worker. I don’t think I could recommend anyone better for the position.”

And Chloe thinks it’s amazing that _she’s_ the first person her professor thinks of when it comes to the “right person” for this internship - she really does, she swears - but something about being away from Beca even longer, probably not being able to see her for a few months, makes her stomach feel weird.

(It also doesn’t help that Beca is beginning to travel more.

Her apartment is empty for most days during the week, sometimes for a full weekend even.)

It unsettles her so much that she genuinely considers turning his offer down, but she knows this is what she’s strived for; this is what she spends hours studying for.

So Chloe tells Beca two days later, when they’re on the phone as Beca is waiting for a flight to New York and Chloe is home after class. She drops it into the conversation so casually that it actually takes a moment to respond.

 _“Oh,”_ she finally says after two beats of silence. _“As in, an internship...in Davis?”_

“Mhmm,” Chloe responds, biting her lip nervously. “I...I can say no. I can tell him I already have plans for the break.”

To Chloe’s surprise, Beca is quick to respond.

 _“No,”_ Beca says hastily _“No - Chloe, you don’t - This is a really good opportunity for you, you know? This is what you want to do as your career.”_

“Well yeah,” Chloe agrees, but her lips are in a pout as she continues. “But I want to be with you.”

Beca lets out a sigh, and Chloe wishes she could see her right now to know what her girlfriend is thinking, what she’s feeling. Beca’s never been very expressive, but Chloe’s learned to read her girlfriend well over the years. She knows the way Beca’s eyes light up when someone enjoys her music and the way her lips tug down ever so slightly when she’s irritated.

 _“I want to see you too,”_ Beca admits quietly. _“More than anything.”_ A pause, and then: _“I miss you.”_

Chloe closes her eyes, trying to make the pang she feels in her chest go away. She hates when they do this, hates when they bring up how the distance is so obvious and glaring on some days - on days like this, when their careers are currently forcing them to be apart.

“Beca,” she murmurs in a strained voice.

Chloe isn’t sure how many more times she can have this conversation. Sure, they understand why it is the way it is, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

 _“Take the internship,”_ Beca tells her. _“I know you’re going to do amazing.”_

“But what about…” Chloe starts, but she doesn’t finish. She’s not sure she knows _how_ to finish that question.

_This summer? Us? Being apart for another few months?_

_“We’ll make it work,”_ Beca promises. _“We always do. I’ll come up for a weekend when I can. Or maybe I can fly you out to an event or a show or something.”_

Chloe exhales slowly, hating the way she feels like every moment she’s getting with Beca are rare. They’re stolen moments they find in between the chaos of their respective lives. Their lives used to be so intertwined it was so hard to tell which part was Beca’s and which was Chloe’s. Now, Chloe feels like they’re on two different planets.

But she knows one thing for sure: she loves Beca Mitchell. She always has, and she’s not going to let distance stop them now. Not when the build up to what they are now has been so slow and painful - on her end at least.

“Okay,” she finally relents, shoulders dropping. “We’ll make it work.”

_“I love you.”_

It’s a reminder, a promise.

Chloe sometimes still can’t believe it when Beca says it. Still, she knows Beca means it every time.

“I love you, too.”

Chloe e-mails her professor after they hang up, telling him she’d be delighted and honored to accept the internship after the semester.

 

* * *

 

Beca’s rise to fame is picking up traction very quickly.

DJ Khaled’s many connections have placed her on a single with another one of her bigger name artists, and it’s been a hit for the past month.

Beca still isn’t used it, the way people sometimes recognize her on the street or ask for photos and autographs. She thinks Chloe would handle it so much better than she would, and that thought makes her think about how she wishes Chloe could be _here_ with her, experiencing it all together rather than having her in Davis.

Finding time to fly out to Chloe is proving more difficult by the day. It feels like she’s always due to be anywhere but Davis on any given day. She offers to fly Chloe out, even if it’s just for a few hours, but Chloe’s hours are long and taxing and Beca really doesn’t want to stress her out more than she’s already feeling.

She gets it, Chloe’s on her way to being a vet.

But she misses her girlfriend like, all the time.

Beca’s rising fame has also led the way for her to make some famous friends. People surprisingly don’t go on the defensive when it comes to Beca’s awkward demeanor and casual biting comment. She’s not used to this - the socializing and talking and making _friends_ left and right, but somehow she’s surviving in the celeb hub of Los Angeles and people are noticing.

She doesn’t pay attention to tabloids or those snapchat stories, but she knows she’s in them. She knows sometimes they publish paparazzi photos of her and some big name celeb when they grab coffee or meet at an awards show. Its weird to know she’s in those dumb magazines.

With Chloe busy doing amazing things as a soon-to-be vet, Beca often goes solo to events. She’s also often meeting up with friends solo too, even if Beca does sneakily send a snap to Chloe with the caption _“look who I’m with.”_

And it’s fine, really. Beca doesn’t really want to hear anything the tabloids have to say about her. She’s too busy waiting for Chloe at the end of the day, to hear her voice and see her face fill up the screen of Beca’s phone.

The only problem is Chloe _does_ read those tabloids from time to time and especially when she finds one with Beca in them.

Beca finds this out when Chloe sends her a screenshot of an article with no actual text following. The article reads _“Singer Beca Mitchell getting cozy with Haley James?”_ and Beca skims the rest of the screenshot, particularly cringing at the sentence _“Mitchell seems to be testing out the dating waters in Hollywood”_ \- which, _gross._

She immediately is dialing Chloe’s number before she can even think about it, really.

 _“Beca, I’m driving,”_ Chloe says as soon as she answers.

She sounds colder than normal and Beca knows she’s letting the tabloids get to her.

“You really shouldn’t read those things. They’re filled with bullshit,” Beca responds. “And I know you’re using your bluetooth in your car to talk to me.”

Chloe ignores most of what she says and answers with, _“I didn’t know you were...friends with Haley James.”_

The way she says it makes Beca squirm, like it’s ridiculous that Chloe would even think about feeding into the rumors. She’s better than that; Beca knows it.

“We’re not really,” Beca explains. “She was talking to me about possibly opening for her for this tour she’s planning.”

Chloe’s silent for a second and then goes, _“Could’ve fooled me.”_

Beca resists the urge to roll her eyes and groan at Chloe’s insinuation. “God, you know me, Chlo. I would never do that to you. There’s only one person in the entire world I want to be with. You know that.”

She hears Chloe sigh silently. _“Sure.”_

“Chloe seriously?” Beca scoffs. “I can’t believe you’re believing the _tabloids_ over your own girlfriend.”

 _“I’m not!”_ Chloe snaps suddenly, cold and calculated. _“It’s just a little frustrating when my girlfriend is out hanging out with all these beautiful celebrities without even mentioning it in passing and I’m stuck in freakin’ Davis of all places spending my days with animals and old vets.”_

Beca frowns at that. “Chloe, come on. You’re doing amazing up there. I need you to know that. You know how proud I am of you.”

Chloe lets out a frustrated sigh. _“I’m at the clinic Beca, I have to go.”_

The way she says it stings Beca a bit, and she almost holds her phone back to look at it.

“Chloe-” she tries.

_“Bye Becs.”_

Chloe hangs up and Beca lets out a frustrated groan, throwing her head back as she slams her phone to the table.

“God damn paparazzi,” she mutters.

This is how she ends up in Davis almost twelve hours later, exhausted and barely functioning, but here nonetheless.

She’s got a couple of sunflowers in her hand - because Chloe thinks roses are a bit cliche - and too much caffeine in her system when she knocks on the door of Chloe’s apartment.

It takes a minute, but Beca hears footsteps and the door unlocking and she straightens up just a little when she hears the knob twist.

Chloe swings the door open, taking a second to realize what’s awaiting her on the other side. When she does realize it’s Beca in front of her, she blinks and her eyes go wide.

“Beca?”

Beca wants to do nothing more than sweep Chloe into a searing kiss, to assure her there’s no one else in the _world_ for her than the woman standing in front of her. Instead, she gives Chloe a nervous smile and holds out the flowers.

“These are for you,” she says hesitantly. “I - I stopped on the way here to get them.”

Chloe is staring at her as if she’s grown another head for an unbearably long moment before Beca’s being pulled into the apartment, Chloe’s arm effortlessly wrapping around her as Beca stumbles over her own feet.

Before Beca knows it, she’s kissing Chloe and she almosts melts because she hasn’t kissed Chloe in who knows how long, and her knees still go weak even after all this time. She wraps an arm around Chloe’s shoulders to hold herself up, trying to keep up with the way Chloe’s lips move.

Chloe suddenly pulls away, ocean blue eyes still wide as she regards Beca with confusion and pleasant surprise. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back to California until tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’m technically not,” Beca confirms, a small smile on her face. “But I needed to see you.”

The way Chloe’s eyes light up at her statement is more than enough assurance that Beca’s made the right decision. Theo might scold her tomorrow, but she can’t find it in her to care.

“When you hung up earlier, that didn’t sit right with me,” Beca continues. “I...I love you, Chloe. I hope you know that.”

Chloe sighs, fond exasperation on her face. “Of course I know that,” she assures Beca. “It’s just so hard being away from you knowing you’re hanging out with people like _Haley James.”_

Beca chuckles softly, her hand that holds the sunflowers resting at Chloe’s waist. “Well, I want you to know Haley James has nothing on you.”

Chloe rolls her eyes at Beca’s line, but there’s a smile on her face when Beca says it. Beca grins widely at her success, pulling Chloe closer to her, hips touching.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Beca nods slowly, her fingers running up Chloe’s side until she’s able to wrap her arms around Chloe’s neck, keeping her close. She pecks Chloe’s lips softly before she says, “She doesn’t have your voice.”

A kiss on her forehead.

“Your eyes.”

A kiss on her jaw.

“Your smile.”

Beca begins to leave a trail of kisses on Chloe’s neck, and she suppresses a smile when Chloe tips her head back to give Beca more access.

“My bedroom. Now.”

Beca doesn’t need to be told twice.

 

* * *

 

Beca goes on her first tour and Chloe tries really hard to be available.

Maybe she tries too hard because she often falls asleep with her phone clutched in her hand, waiting for Beca’s post-performance phone call to wish her good night.

When Beca does call, she’s usually in class or at a clinic or with her friends.

They miss each other often, and texting is the best they manage at consistent conversation.

She’s doing well in school, and she’s working part-time at the clinic she once interned at. Aubrey visits occasionally as well as Stacie, and though it’s nice to see them, it’s hard because seeing them reminds her of Beca and Beca is - well, not here.

“Why don’t you go to her show? She’ll fly you out,” Stacie points out.

Chloe sighs. “Between the clinic and classes I really can’t afford to fall behind.”

Stacie frowns, nodding empathetically. “She misses you just as much, you know.”

“Yeah…”

Chloe thinks she knows, but it’s hard when Beca looks like she’s having the time of her life on tour. It’s hard when Beca calls too late or can’t talk when Chloe tries to reach her.

It’s hard when Beca can give people attention at her concerts, but can’t find the right time to talk to her girlfriend.

She feels like she sees her girlfriend more in interviews and clips from her shows and appearances rather than actually talking to her on FaceTime or just talking on the phone.

And Chloe knows it’s not Beca’s fault, really. It’s just hard to accept that this is they’re life right now, that this is supposed to be their normal.

 

* * *

 

 **Beca Mitchell** **  
** _iMessage_  
Yesterday, 6:34 PM

Good luck tonight, I love you!!!

Today, 1:03 AM

i love you and miss you so much  
i wish i could see you

 

* * *

 

Everything is moving quickly and Beca isn’t sure how to keep up.

The interviews, the tour - everything, it’s all so much and Beca is trying her best to soak it all in. It drives her insane when she can’t seem to find the time to talk to Chloe.

(Which seems to be all the time, apparently.)

It drives her insane because Chloe is _always_ on her mind no matter what, and even though Chloe was able to sneak a two day trip to Los Angeles for Beca’s show, it’s never near enough.

It’s taking a toll on both of them, Beca can tell. Their conversations are sparse and they don’t last long. Chloe sometimes doesn’t even seem all that excited to talk to her, to get even just a few moments with her.

Stacie tells her that Chloe misses her a lot.

Beca wishes she could drop everything to go see her.

The opportunity presents itself when Beca is invited to perform at some event in Sacramento - she can’t remember the name of it, tuning out quickly when she realizes it’s not all that far from Chloe. She’s quick to find a way to put Chloe on the backstage guest list and send her details.

She’s due to stay in Sacramento for more than a day, with press for the event and the actual performance. It’s a big deal, she guesses, but all she really cares about is seeing Chloe.

Chloe is the only constant in her life - aside from the other Bellas - and when Beca falls into her embrace she still smells like she always has, like lavender and fruity shampoo and all things Chloe Beale.

It pains Beca to an extent, knowing that this is what she should be waking up to every day, that she shouldn’t be hit with a sense of longing when she sees Chloe. Because Chloe is hers already, she’s not something that’s out of reach.

At least, she shouldn’t be.

Chloe is quiet and Beca feels like something’s off. She feels like a storm cloud is following them for the duration of her trip, even when Chloe kisses her sweetly and holds her at night. Something doesn’t feel right.

When Beca walks off stage after her performance, Chloe looks so proud she could cry. It almost makes Beca herself tear up, knowing that Chloe probably wants to be along the ride _with_ her when she’s away rather than hearing about it later.

Chloe suggests that they drive around in Chloe’s car before Beca heads back to her hotel to pack, to which Beca obliges. Chloe plays music and lets Beca drive, and Beca thinks Chloe looks like she’s about to cry but doesn’t question it, too afraid of what will happen if she does.

Chloe plays songs that make them both ache in a good way, songs that remind them of how far they’ve come and those special songs that mean something no one else can understand.

Beca squeezes Chloe’s hand over the console when Titanium, Just the Way You Are, and Just a Dream play throughout the mix.

Chloe kisses the back of her hand in response.

They walk up to Beca’s hotel room in silence, Chloe following Beca. It’s silent for a few moments and Beca knows the other shoe is about to drop in the way Chloe hasn’t quite looked at her since they arrived.

“Beca, I don’t think we can keep doing this.”

Beca’s heart all but stops. “What?”

She looks up from her luggage, a t-shirt in her hand as she eyes Chloe carefully. She knows want she heard, but she can’t quite believe it.

(Or maybe she doesn’t want to.)

Chloe pauses, then corrects herself. “I don’t think _I_ can keep doing this. To you, to me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This,” Chloe repeats, waving her hands in the air. There are tears in her eyes that Beca guesses have been there for the better part of the day and it almost breaks her when Chloe’s voice begins to waver. “You always being away, me so busy with vet school and the clinic. I - I feel like we barely find time to talk to each other these days. We keep holding out for each other and...we shouldn’t. We should be reaching our full potential in our careers.”

Beca drops the t-shirt into her suitcase and moves around the bed towards Chloe. “Chloe, no. You’re...You’re almost done with vet school, and I-I’ll be in Los Angeles working on my album and we’re…”

She isn’t quite sure what she’s saying, but she can feel the way the panic rises in her chest and knows she has to stop this path Chloe is trying to go down because she can feel her heart already beginning to break.

“Beca,” Chloe says, pressing her lips together for a moment as she wills herself not to cry. “We can’t. I’m always hurting because I’m missing you.” She swallows the lump in her throat before adding, “And I know you’re hurting, too.”

“Chloe.”

It’s a plea now, the way Chloe’s name comes off Beca’s lips in a whimper. Beca looks at Chloe, tears of her own in her eyes. Chloe looks like she’s crumbling apart in front of Beca and for once, Beca isn’t reaching out to try to soothe her. Something about this is different, that if Beca reaches out right now, they will both crumble and have nothing left to salvage.

“I love you,” Beca reminds her.

It only upsets Chloe more, the way she visibly forces a sob back and squeezes her eyes shut for a long moment. Tears still spill through and when she opens them, her eyes are so watery.

“I know,” Chloe nods. “I love you too, more than anything.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

Beca can’t keep up with Chloe at all these days.

“We need time apart,” Chloe explains patiently, always so patient when it comes to Beca. “We need...to be the best we can be without each other.”

“That’s insane.”

Chloe laughs humorlessly, shaking her head. “We’re not happy.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you,” she tries. “You’re it for me.”

“You are too Becs,” Chloe says, reaching out to letting her fingers run along Beca’s chin and her jaw. “I’m the happiest when I’m with you, but we’re never together. It’s hurting us. It’s hurting who we are.”

“Are you…” Beca isn’t sure if she should be incredibly upset or incredibly angry, or maybe both. “Is this it, then?”

“Not forever,” Chloe tells her. “But yes, for now.”

Beca feels like her world is shattering beneath her and she has nothing to hold onto, nothing to steady her because that was always Chloe’s doing. Chloe helped keep her upright and grounded when things started falling apart.

Yet here they are now, and Chloe is the one pulling the world away from her.

“Chloe,” she says brokenly.

“Goodbye Beca.”

Beca collapses onto her bed, unsure of how her world is supposed to move on without Chloe.

 

* * *

 

Chloe’s heart aches in every single way.

She throws herself into her school work, receiving high marks and crushing her job. She keeps tabs on Beca only through social media, though it hurts to see Beca in any capacity via social media or the celeb news for awhile.

She knows this is what’s best, that this is what needs to be.

It takes her awhile to stop bursting into tears when she hears Beca’s songs on the radio.

 

* * *

 

Beca doesn’t leave her apartment for three days.

Although Chloe’s in Davis, parts of her are scattered everywhere in her home, a place that’s supposed to be _their_ home.

Chloe’s old Barden sweatshirt.

Jewelry she left behind.

The decorations she helped Beca pick out at Ikea.

Photos on the walls.

It hurts. It all hurts.

Theo practically kicks her out of her own place, forcing her back to work. She has things to do, people to talk to, music to make. Beca Mitchell, the solo artist, has no time for heartbreak.

She writes some songs, has Emily help with the lyrics.

She fakes it through interviews, acting like her typical awkward and standoffish self.

It’s hard to laugh, hard to find joy when so many things remind her of Chloe.

_Not forever._

It keeps her going.

 

* * *

 

Rumors start again about Beca Mitchell and the Hollywood dating pool.

Chloe tries not to read into it, knows that she shouldn’t fall for it.

The spike of jealousy still rises in her all too easily when she sees a photo of Beca laughing with some gorgeous blonde actress.

It still gets her, even with all this time after the fallout.

She knows they say when you love someone, you want their happiness.

And Chloe wants Beca to be happy, she really does.

It just kills her to see other people make her laugh, to know that other people will see her smile and her hear laugh and be able to just _be_ with Beca.

Because she couldn’t do that.

Not now, at least.

 

* * *

 

When Beca is nominated for a big award, her fingers are immediately flying and almost hits the call button.

Almost.

She realizes the name that reads on her screen and immediately closes out, putting her phone down for a moment.

You would think after all this time, Chloe would no longer be the first person she calls.

There’s still an ache in her chest, a place where Chloe should reside. She knows she should be over it, knows that she should at least _try_ to move on and live her life and not worry too much.

But Chloe is Chloe.

She’s never been just Chloe to Beca.

_Not forever._

It echoes in Beca’s mind, all the time.

 

* * *

 

Aubrey tells them both that she’s had enough.

They’re Beca and Chloe, god dammit. They can’t live without each other.

So they comprise: friends.

It’s odd, trying to keep each other at arm’s length while still attempting to be friends again.

Chloe thinks about the way Beca kissed her under the starry sky in France.

Beca thinks about the way Chloe used to wake her up with good morning kisses.

It’s difficult, trying to be friendly with each other again, especially while they’re still far apart.

But they’ll try.

They say it’s for Aubrey’s sake.

But really, it’s because they can’t live without each other.

It’s not perfect, and it’s nowhere near where they used to be as best friends even, but it’ll do.

Chloe texts Beca a congratulations after she wins a People’s Choice Award.

Beca texts Chloe good luck on her final round of exams before she’s officially a vet.

It’s nothing.

It’s something.

(It’s everything.)

 

* * *

 

They don’t talk about dating.

The topic never reaches the surface.

But they’re hoping.

They’re waiting.

 

* * *

 

Chloe accepts a job offer in Los Angeles as her graduation nears. It’s one of the top clinics in the Southern California area and Chloe can’t find it in her to find a reason to say no.

She hesitates, but she shoots Beca a text anyway and informs her of the good news.

It’s still weird, being kind of friends with Beca, but she’s loved Beca for so long that she’ll stick it out a little longer.

A moment later her phone rings.

 _“Congratulations!”_ Beca greets her on the other end. _“That’s amazing, Chlo. I’m so proud of you.”_

Chloe’s heart swells like she’s twenty-two again and emotions are swirling. She smiles. “Thanks Bec, I’m really excited. You’re coming with Bree and them to my graduation in two weeks, right?”

She hears the hesitation before Beca speaks and tries not to feel too disappointed.

_“I’m trying to move a few things around in my schedule. I don’t want to make any promises that I can’t keep, Chlo.”_

Chloe’s heart drops just a little, but she musters up as much sweetness and enthusiasm as she can for Beca.

“Yeah of course! You do your thing, superstar.”

The nickname rolls off her tongue so flawlessly that Chloe hardly even realizes she says it. She thinks she can feel the way Beca smiles even though she can’t see her.

They hang up shortly after that, and Chloe busies herself with cleaning so she doesn’t feel the disappointment sink in.

It’s not too long after that conversation - only a few days at most - that Beca informs her that she couldn’t move an appearance she has and won’t be able to make it up to Davis.

Chloe starts to wonder if she made a mistake in that hotel room way back. She wonders if there’s a way that her and Beca are ever supposed to work out.

 

* * *

 

Chloe pulls away from Beca a little after that.

Beca knows she can’t really blame her.

It seems like they’re in an endless cycle.

 

* * *

 

Chloe’s graduation is long and boring, but Chloe is excited nonetheless.

A few of her Bellas have made the trip and she’s so happy to have such supportive friends.

Her heart feels heavy because she knows Beca isn’t in the stands, but she tries not to dwell on it. She’s spent so many years and nights hurting over Beca and she thinks she should at least enjoy the day.

(Beca doesn’t even text her congratulations on the morning of.

Chloe tries not to let it bother her; Beca’s a busy woman.)

She’s trying to find her friends amongst the crowd of people after, diploma in her hand and heels slightly sinking into the grass with every step when she comes to a dead stop.

Chloe finds her friends just a few yards away, but she notices the way Emily is talking to a tiny brunette dressed in a leather jacket and jeans, somehow so LA but still very trademark look about her that she’s had since she was eighteen.

Beca Mitchell is here.

Her heart is beating so loudly in her chest as her wide eyes stare at Beca Mitchell for a long, unbelieving moment.

_Beca is here._

Beca seems to feel Chloe staring because she turns and meets Chloe’s gaze, that familiar smirk on her face.

Chloe feels like she’s twenty-seven again and Beca is the only thing she sees.

She quickly closes the distance, throwing her arms around Beca tightly. Beca is laughing softly into her hair and Chloe has never felt anything else like home.

“Congratulations,” Beca murmurs quietly, only for Chloe. Her arms wrap around her surely, like they always have, like they always will.

“You said you couldn’t make it,” Chloe breathes against her skin.

“I had to surprise you somehow.”

Chloe beams, pulling back to look at her with the biggest smile. She’s tempted to kiss Beca now, in front of all their friends and these other people, but she resists the urge because she’s still unsure. Everything is falling into place, but Chloe has to be sure, needs to know that Beca is ready for this again, too.

Beca seems content with her reaction as it is, taking a step back to let everyone else congratulate Chloe on her success.

Chloe chats with them all excitedly, but her eyes still drift back to Beca every time.

She feels a shiver down her spine when she finds that Beca is already looking at her each time.

 

* * *

 

Beca and Chloe drink the remnants of Chloe’s wine in her apartment, everyone else retiring to their hotel for the night. There are boxes everywhere, pieces of Chloe’s life from the past few years scattered around.

It’s still odd to Beca that there’s part of Chloe’s real adult life that she wasn’t exactly part of, at least not completely.

“So Los Angeles, huh?” she says, looking back at Chloe, who is placing their wine glasses in the sink to be washed later.

Chloe turns, smiling with bright eyes. “Yeah, Los Angeles it is.”

Beca smiles back at her, unable to stop the thrumming in her body at the way Chloe looks at her. “Good place to be.”

“Very,” Chloe admits, slowly making her way over.

It’s like a game they play: how long can they dance around it until one of them finally says it?

“Have you found a place yet?” Beca asks. “I can help you look.”

Chloe shrugs, looking around at her boxes. “I’ve been too focused on packing up here.”

Beca nods, glancing at the boxes as well. “You can stay with me until you find a place.”

It comes out before she thinks, and Beca is afraid she’s made a mistake when she looks at Chloe. Chloe raises an eyebrow, a playful lookin her eye and Beca loves the way it thrills her, like she knows where this can go.

 _Not forever. Just for now,_ Chloe’s voice echoes in her mind.

“Oh?”

“Or,” Beca adds, suddenly finding a boost of confidence in her - perhaps the wine. “You can stay with me like...as long as you want?”

Chloe’s got a shit-eating grin now as she steps closer to Beca. “Like forever?”

Beca’s heart swells. She still hates Chloe’s grin, the way Chloe always is a step ahead of her in what they’re trying to convey. She reaches out and tugs Chloe by the hips, pulling her in close as she kisses her for the first time in a long time, feeling like it’s their first kiss all over again.

Chloe isn’t all that surprised like she had been all those years ago, instead meeting Beca halfway and pouring her emotions into the way she kisses so adoringly, so full of love.

Being away from each other was hard, but they know this is how they are supposed to fall together again.

Beca pulls away, eyes half closed as she answers, “Like forever.”

Chloe grins, pulling Beca in for a softer kiss this time.

“That was okay, right?” Beca asks in a whisper

Chloe almost laughs, resting their foreheads against each other.

“Don’t think I ever stopped loving you for a minute, Beca Mitchell.”

Beca grins, arms wrapping around Chloe’s waist. “You’re it for me.”

And as Chloe quickly leads Beca to her bedroom, pinning her down on the bed as she reminds Beca what it’s like to be loved by Chloe Beale, Beca knows that everything that’s happened and everything they’ve gone through has led to this. The security of Chloe, the way she feels grounded and steady again.

Beca knows Chloe is it for her. She always has been.

She always will be.


End file.
